The Sex Toy
by Lord Rebecca-sama
Summary: The mystery of Roman and why he lost his fang:..:WARNING:..:pure and utter crack, script form, very random. This is what happens when we get hyper and have sugar.


**This is wat happens wen we have sugar and I ask a question on a forum**

**Double parentheses (( or )) mean its an action…like the star thing but that doesn't show up on ff**

_Italics is me typing  
_**Bold and Underline is Recia typing  
**Normal is ravenmadisonfan typing

* * *

Ok here we go…

* * *

_did Roman ever tell Shanna how he lost his fang or did Shanna ever ask him?? _

_how exactly would that conversation go?? me and recia want to no (she's over at meh house) :D_

Roman: I lost it when I bit a sex doll  
Shanna: ... the hell? SEX DOLL?  
Roman: You know; Vanna. You saw her that one time in the truck.  
Shanna: Oh...HER...

_Roman: yeah, that "dead" body you thought Laszlo was stuffing in the trunk_

Shanna: So I take it you got rid of it since then?  
Roman: ...  
Shanna: -flames in background- WELL?

**Roman:Yeahh...i desposed of her...  
Conner: ((cough no he didn't ))cough**

Connor: -tries despretely to hide the sex doll by pushing it with one foot behind some random couch- -whistles-  
Shanna: . Suspicious behavior...

**Conner: Maybe we should just tell her the truth.  
Roman: Why are you even here?! shut up and go away!  
Conner: ((walks up to him. What'd yer say?  
Shanna: Please don't hurt him!!  
Roman: Yeah, listen to her!**

Connor: -pimp-slaps Roman-  
Shanna: -scream as Roman falls backward and over the side of a couch-  
Connor: It needed to be done.

**And thats how Roman Draganesti died.  
ohh wait.  
He's a vampire.  
ummmmmm.  
well still, he got knocked out and is in LOTS OF PAIN.  
((jean-luc teleports into room  
j-l:Merde! what happened to Roman?!**

_me: laughing histarically at the event that just took place XD  
recia: chases jean-luc around house trying to hug him  
jean-luc: kills recia  
me: laughs at her pain XD  
shanna: what just happened here?  
conner: i have no idea  
roman: i dont either  
laszlo: why is there a dead body on the floor?  
me: pokes recia wit stick :  
shanna: jean-luc, why is it that everyone that loves u ends up dead? (well almost all)  
jean-luc: umm..._

**Jean-luc can't kill me!!  
NOOOOO!  
((roman is conscious again and he uses his fantastical science to revive reciame  
recia:Why did Jean-luc kill me??  
j-l: Because you're a threat to my relationship with Heather. Everytime I see you, I forget about her!  
**

_me: kills recia and chops up her body so no one can recognize her and gets rid of remains  
roman: well that was interesting  
shanna: yes it was  
jean-luc: well i must be getting back to heather now  
((heather walks in door))  
heather: hi, honey!  
jean-luc: bonjour!  
me: who wants to go watch RENT with me on my computer??  
everyone: I DO!!  
((goes to watch RENT on computer wit everyone))_

**((everyone watches RENT  
**

**Jean-luc: Roman, are you crying??  
Roman: ((snfifle no... i have a cold  
Jean-luc: ahahahahahahah  
Rebecca: Vampires can get a cold?  
My ghost: Apparently.  
Everyone: AHHHHHHHH!! Its a ghost!!**

_me: pokes recia's ghost  
recia's ghost: ow!  
me: haha :  
shanna: its okay roman, it all turns out rite in the end...even tho angel in dead and like all the relationships fail and then come back together  
roman: crys harder  
conner: i thought he had a cold  
me: no...he's just crying  
dr. phang: DUDE!! i love this movie!! why is roman crying  
roman: sniffle...i have a cold!  
recia's ghost: suuuuure  
jean-luc to dr. phang: he's just crying. this movie really gets to him  
me: has anyone seen ian lately??_

**Dr. Phang: who you gonna call? ****Ghost busters!****  
Conner: Remind me again why we're friends with him?  
J-l: Je ne sais pa  
my ghost: You're so cute when you speak French!  
Dr. Phang: There's something wrong with this chick, yo!  
my ghost: riiiiiiiiiiight. I'm not the one going around calling myself Dr. Phang! Weirdo.  
Dr. Phang: You take that back!  
Rebecca: oh this should be interesting.  
Shanna: Don't think I forgot about the sex toy  
Roman: ((gulp  
Dr. Phang: Sex toy?! WHERE?**

_me: ((starts rolling around on the floor laughing)) XXXD  
recia's ghost: its behind the couch points to couch  
dr. phang: ((walks over to sex toy))  
gregori: ((jumps in front of it)) NO!! ITS __MINE!!__  
laszlo: ((starts to pluck buttons off keyboard))  
me: HEY!! that's my laptop!!1  
shanna: see what that sex toy is doing to you men?  
roman: yes, mommy ((looks down at feet))  
heather: ((starts to attack recia's ghost))  
recia's ghost: why are you attacking me?!  
heather: u tried to steal jean-luc!  
recia's ghost: you cant even say his name rite!  
heather: you cant either!!  
jean-luc and conner: ((sweat-drop anime style))  
all hell breaks lose and the only ppl not fighting are jean-luc and conner_

**my ghost: QUIET!! ((everyone shuts up except for Phineas Dr. Phang and Gregori who are still fighting over Vanna  
Rebecca: la la lala la la lala ELMO'S WORLD! WHERE'S IAN?!  
my ghost: That chicks messed up. Anyway, I CAN say his name correctly! ((says name correctly. See?! I learned that from French class.  
Heather: Well I can speak French too!  
my ghost: No you can't!  
Heather: Turns to Jean-luc and says Voulez vous couchez avec moi?  
my ghost: If you say yes I WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER!!  
-awkward silence as everyone hears Gregori and Phineas:  
Gregori: Maybe we can share her!  
Dr. Phang: HELL NO!**

_me: ((sneaks behind gregori and dr. phang and takes vanna)) ((teleports away)) YES I CAN TELEPORT!! ((appears by emma and angus in scotland))  
emma: who the hell are you? ((pulls stake from belt))  
me: i'm just dropping this off. it's from roman for angus ((drops sex toy and teleports away bac to romans house))  
gregori and dr. phang still fighting over sex toy that is no longer there. everyone just stares at them  
-back to emma and angus-  
emma: what is this?  
angus: vanna...laszlo made it out of a sex toy  
emma: how do u no that?  
angus: -gulp- ummmmm...  
emma: -glares- (she still has the stake in her hand)_

**Angus: I never used her. I swear.  
Emma: Then how do you know about her?? Hmmmm?  
Angus: Because Roman lost his tooth on her once, thats how he met Shanna. But do no' tell him I told yer.  
Emma: ((falls over laughing  
Angus: teleports to Roman while Emma isn't looking.  
Roman: Angus! Hello!  
my ghost: hehehe he's cute!  
Angus: what the...a ghost is hitting on me!  
Dr. Phang: Angus, have you seen Vanna?  
Angus: Psshhh...no...  
Dr. Phang: He'st trying to steal her! C'mon, you have Emma! I have no one! goes and cries in corner  
my ghost: oh geez, Phang is turning emo!**

_me: angus, have you seen ian??  
recia's ghost: hello hotness!!  
angus: why is there a ghost here?  
laszlo: rebecca killed her  
gregori: ((tearing apart house looking for vanna))  
me: why does everyone ignore me?  
conner: let's play scrabble. we can use the letters off of rebecca's laptop  
me: WHAT!?  
((everyone agrees and i try to get my keyboard letters back))  
((emma teleports in))  
emma: what are they doing?  
me: plaing scrabble wit the keyboard from my laptop  
emma: is that a ghost drooling all over my husband?!  
me: she's drooling on jean-luc too  
emma: grrrrr  
me: where the flip is ian!? everyone else has made an appearence but has ian NOOOO!! ((sulks in another corner)) ooo a shiney ball ((throws ball through window)) NOOO SHINEY BALL!! ((cries))_

**((Ian teleports in dressed in baggy clothes and a backwards baseball cap  
Ian: Yo whatsup my home skillet buiscuits!  
Jean-luc: Oh no, he's been hanging out with Phineas, hasn't he?  
Roman: I think the aging made his brain all wacked out and impressionable and he's been around Phineas WAY TOO MUCH.  
Phang: There's nothing wrong with being around me.  
Conner: I beg to differ  
Phang: Stop teaming up on me! cries some more  
Ian: Homedogs, whats goin on?  
my ghost: homedogs? did he seriously just say homedogs?  
Ian: why ya'll gotta be dissin Phang, yo?  
Conner: Thats it. I need some blissky.  
my ghost: I'll get it for you honey!  
Conner: She's in love with me, too?!  
Rebecca: ((stands there with mouth hanging open looking at Ian what happened to you?!  
Ian: I'm a gangsta now!  
Angus: I think I'm having a nightmare. I haven't had one of those in centuries.  
my ghost: I've got the Blissky! Who wants some?  
Ian: Blissky is wack, yo!**

_me: i'm still in love wit ian  
ian: really?  
me: yes ((kisses him and teleports away somewhere where no one can find us))  
recia's ghost: what?! she gets her guy and i dont?! ((sulks))  
conner: aren't you in love with every guy in the series though?  
recia's ghost: maybe...  
shanna: wow thats just umm wow  
emma to shanna quietly: i think she needs help  
recia's ghost: I DONT NEED HELP!!  
everyone: suuuure u dont  
-three hours later after watching harry potter 4 cuz its long-  
me and ian teleport back in  
recia's ghost: why is ur shirt messed up, rebecca?  
me: umm... ((blushes))  
recia's ghost: WELL!?  
me: ((blushes more)) ian's back to normal!!  
ian: aye, that i am  
recia's ghost: and little missy, how did you do that?  
me: bye! ((grabs ian's arm and teleports away again))  
shanna: this got really off topic  
roman: i know /_

**my ghost: uhhhmmm. uhh.. well...hmm...idk what to say.  
Phineas: Nobody loves me!! I'm so alone! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
my ghost: I love you!  
Phineas: shut up you're in love with everyone you buttface  
my ghost: ((gasp  
jean-luc: um...this was interesting...Au Revoir. ((teleports to France  
Angus, Emma, Rebecca, Ian, and Conner: ((teleport to Scotland  
Roman and Shanna: teleport to Constantine.  
Phineas: ((Teleports to...somewhere in New York City  
Me: I'M ALL ALOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!**

_me from far away: haha  
((shiney ball comes bouncing back in))  
recia's ghost: ooo look a ball!! ((throws it back out the window and looks up at moon)) o no its a full moon tonight and im all alone wit the daytime guards even no its night  
phil: ((bounces in and attacks reci'a ghost))  
recia's ghost: AHHHHH!!  
phil: ((licks Recia))  
edward cullen from somewhere unknown: dumb mutt!  
recia's ghost: PHIL GET OFF ME!!  
phil: ruff  
recia's ghost: ... /_

**what the...?!  
****Edward isn't allowed!!  
****me: ((sets him on fire and watches him die yay!!  
****Laszlo: i'm still here!  
****me: oh hello! how was your day?  
****Laszlo: Quite nice, thank you. And yours?  
****me: I died today.  
****Laszlo: I'm sorry to hear that.  
****((they continue with meaningless small talk for a while. Phil chases his tail. The sun comes up and Laszlo goes beddy bye. **

_**AND THAT SOLVES THE MYSTERY OF ROMAN AND THE SEX TOY. **_

_**-THE END-**_

**

* * *

**

Well I'm surprised that u read ALL the way down here lol

**Flame or review. We were on sugar…at least Recia was lol**

**Xoxo  
rebecca**


End file.
